i have a lot to say — and yet i know from my own personal experience and active exploration of the mediatypes of blogging and social media that it is unwise to tell the whole truth of the matter, especially when feeling a certain sense of loss, frustration or negativity about a life transition
here she is
floating in the sea
beautiful failure
drenched in an entirely unsubtle misery
injustice is never easy to swallow
especially if you have been left to swim in it, alone and abandoned
i am not speaking with some sort of encrypted metaphoric language to obscure or poeticize the shipwreck
how could we foresee the depths of certain challenges
challenges she couldn’t handle, depths of impatience with no help, no friend or searchPlane to come save her
i know she now needs to swim
but for now, floating feels good — its a fitting end
it feels — it actually feels appropriate, this illusion and this inBetweeneSs
there is no rescue
she needs to do this for herself
she needs to let a bitterness go and simply swim
not to the shore or to land or even to a new seavessel — no, no — its nothing like that at all
now its more about floating and being one with the seawater
there is a certain sense of acceptance now
this fate seems reasonable, its all starting to make sense
it doesn’t feel like failure anymore
or even survival
fathoms of water
or just a little over her head
it doesn’t matter
this is the saltwater
the lifematter
the place we belong now
there is no forgiveness, though — please, don’t be confused
injustice is injustice
and those that assist in these matters of discarding without any sense of humility, empathy or common decency
those that have moved on, completely unaccountable
and only reacting to a vague sense of discomfort, an insecurity that might have felt, perhaps, more like a threat or even an insulting awakening to a different place in reality
a larger reality at that
you will, of course, meet with a karmic and sudden yank to feel the very basic Laws of Newton
the action deserves and begets an eventual reaction
and you will most likely suffer
and feel it most
at Planet Fitness
remember
its not a gym
its Planet Fitness