inBetweeneSs and failure


i have a lot to say — and yet i know from my own personal experience and active exploration of the mediatypes of blogging and social media that it is unwise to tell the whole truth of the matter, especially when feeling a certain sense of loss, frustration or negativity about a life transition

here she is

floating in the sea

beautiful failure

drenched in an entirely unsubtle misery

injustice is never easy to swallow

especially if you have been left to swim in it, alone and abandoned

i am not speaking with some sort of encrypted metaphoric language to obscure or poeticize the shipwreck

how could we foresee the depths of certain challenges

challenges she couldn’t handle, depths of impatience with no help, no friend or searchPlane to come save her

i know she now needs to swim

but for now, floating feels good — its a fitting end

it feels — it actually feels appropriate, this illusion and this inBetweeneSs

there is no rescue

she needs to do this for herself

she needs to let a bitterness go and simply swim

not to the shore or to land or even to a new seavessel — no, no — its nothing like that at all

now its more about floating and being one with the seawater

there is a certain sense of acceptance now

this fate seems reasonable, its all starting to make sense

it doesn’t feel like failure anymore

or even survival

fathoms of water

or just a little over her head

it doesn’t matter

this is the saltwater

the lifematter

the place we belong now

there is no forgiveness, though — please, don’t be confused

injustice is injustice

and those that assist in these matters of discarding without any sense of humility, empathy or common decency

those that have moved on, completely unaccountable

and only reacting to a vague sense of discomfort, an insecurity that might have felt, perhaps, more like a threat or even an insulting awakening to a different place in reality

a larger reality at that

you will, of course, meet with a karmic and sudden yank to feel the very basic Laws of Newton

the action deserves and begets an eventual reaction

and you will most likely suffer

and feel it most

at Planet Fitness


its not a gym

its Planet Fitness


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